|Lk. 6.3738, 4142|
|1||Judge not, that ye be not judged.
|2||For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. Mk. 4.24
|3||And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
|4||Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?
|5||Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.
When I first read these words (well, I should say, when these words first took root in my heart, shook me up and changed my direction. They made me aware of and realize I had so much to take care of with my own personal faults, I really didn’t have time to take on others. I must do all I can to focus on my motivations and my own actions as I try to become the best of whom I was created to be! I must attempt not to judge others along the way, but to allow God to take care of them) this was a huge wake up call for me. I had lived most of my first 25 years judging others, gossiping, and even making fun of others.
Growing up I mostly avoided getting made fun of because I was smart enough to make friends with the right people. I did what it took not to get made fun of myself…which, I must confess put me in a position to sometimes make fun of others who I really liked. I did not really want to do this, but I felt I could make it right, somehow, because I didn’t really mean it. I was so very sensitive and observant that I could usually stay out-of-the-way of making enemies by walking a balancing line between all the people I wanted to be friends with.
Since 1990 I have tried my best to live the principles I found in Matthew 5, 6 and 7, and the truths of Psalm 37. I say TRIED, but I must confess, I feel I fail way to often. Nothing comes to us overnight. Even as we continue to mature, we all continue to learn and grow throughout our lives. I know I will never reach perfection, which is why I intend to continue to live my life this way as long as I can breathe and am granted this precious gift that is life!
As for me, I still have so much to work on in my heart and life. Even as I attempt not to judge – the thoughts I think and the words I say betray me – and I have to confess that I need God’s help…every second! As I face unfairness or injustice, for myself or for others – I admit I want to fight back…I want to make the accuser feel the same thing I am feeling. I want revenge…and I face a choice once again.
What happens to me if I allow myself to return to my adversary what they most certainly seem to deserve? My choices may have an effect on others, but mainly they affect me. It really doesn’t matter what others will think of me either way. The important thing is when I take revenge, strike back, judge, or make fun of someone else – I become less of who I want to be! I become like the very people I do not like. It is I who lose the peace and joy I have found to be so good in the path of taking care of myself – I gain all when I am able to follow my own path and am able to let go and let God take care of others.
I am really not brave at heart, I truly do not like to be controversial or have people think I am weird or say bad things about me or to me. I want to be praised and I like it when people to say wonderful things about me. I like it when that happens! hee… It is hard, and not really in my nature, for me to put myself in a position where I will be critiqued. And yet I am doing that very thing almost every day. As I stand up and talk about all the emotions I feel, and make a stand about these issues, I put myself in a position where I am criticized or misunderstood quite a lot…which is becoming interesting to me.
So, why am I doing it? I do it because it is the most important thing I can possibly do with my life! I do it because of the path I have walked. Because of the miracles, the peace and the healing I have found on that path. I do it because I love people and I feel their pain. I do it because I must. I do it because it is right. I do it to make people think about their own lives. Mainly I do it because of the work of God in my heart and in my life.
I have no idea as I continue this path where it will take me, and I fight (with myself) for every step I take along this extremely rewarding, difficult and unmarked path I am blazing with God’s help. I cannot do it on my own…I don’t want to. All I know is I must go on – and so I stand!