This has been quite a week for me. I have experienced judgement from a semi-stranger on a task I was asked to do, unkind words from one of my oldest girl-friends from high school, and I was at the end of someone, who thought he was Howard Stern, and included me in his “comedy routine” of degrading remarks.
These incidents have taken me into a range of emotion I haven’t experienced in quite a while – I have been angry, sad, irritated, outraged and sad (again). I have examined my own heart and my motivations and I have tried to overcome my emotions as I sift through these issues.
I made the decision to keep my mouth shut on the first, stand up to and lose an old “friend” on the second, and, third, try to talk to a man who has made the choice to treat others with disrespect his whole life and who doesn’t want to change. He wears his unkindness as a badge of honor. It has been a very interesting week.
I have done a lot of thinking and praying – mainly about my own faults in this area and how easy it is to get off balance and knee-jerk to unfairness. I never want to give someone like that control of my life. We all have the ability and tendency to judge and be unkind. I am very aware and thinking a lot about how I don’t want to be that in my life in any way, and I don’t want to support others who choose to be that way.
I have started some new newsletters on the topics of kindness, injustice, and sarcasm. As I have been researching these things I think these are HUGE issues which I really haven’t experienced a lot of in my life.
I have experienced a lot of abuse in my life and I know the feelings I felt this week are no different from when I was married to an abusive man who called me stupid and told me I was deformed and ugly. What happened to me this week it was no different really – it was abuse to be the brunt of degrading speech and be laughed at and bullied. A lot of people experience these types of issues every day. A lot of people think it’s funny to be unkind. Some people who are made fun of even begin to project that same behavior on others to make themselves feel better or more powerful.
How do we change the world? Awareness and choice! Determination and active choice. Don’t laugh at people who are unkind. Don’t support them. Call them out. Remove them from your life. Don’t let it happen to you or to someone else. Remember….love is what we need and kindness matters!